o18 [Written]

[ahappylie]

[Private | 99% Hackable new filter at 70% ]
So much bloodshed. The clown named Kefka and now Vash-san. It's forbidden to get involved in private fights, but things like this make me wonder. How far should I follow the Code here? Is it considered protecting the people to take arms as a captain, or is it merely foolish of me to assume they even need protecting? Do I even have the strength to help?

The people here fight with fire and magic, things I can't comprehend. They heal with a touch and kill despite the impermanency of death. I fill my days with training and frivolous pursuits, music and art, helping at the Center, but my heart is heavy. We were men charged with war, with keeping the peace and killing our enemies. These enemies are foreign, worse than the rebels, worse than the foreign evil that came upon our shores and forced us into a treaty at the threat of annihilation.

I have no idea how to fight anymore.

[Public]
It seems there's quite the commotion going on. Is everyone alright? And has anyone seen Sasarai-san?

Anyway, the Welcome Center is open to help New Feathers, the new arrivals, with adjusting to life here in Luceti. Please feel free to stop by anytime, or call upon myself, Sasarai-san, Martel-san, or anyone else who works at the Center. We can provide lodging and warm food and drink to help you weather the winter. Of course, that goes to anyone! Even those who have been here awhile. It's always nice to see friendly faces, hm?

Hijiri-kun? I'll be by later on to finally take you up on the music lessons, if that is alright with you? I'm afraid I was quite busy with the New Years and all.

Comments

[ ; ; ]

[2ndunitcaptain]

Some of the decisions that have been made... make me wonder just what will and won't be held against us.

It's not important. That bastard abandoned us, he knew everything that would happen and told us nothing.

....

Okita-san, for the love of all that be, don't make me explain that.

[ god their future sucks balls ]

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

.....

I understand. I won't bring this up again.
[He understands all too well - if Toudou left and it wasn't with Yamanami, that can only mean that Yamanami is no longer with the living. And he wouldn't pick up a sword, which means only one outcome.]

[ )8 Yup ]

[2ndunitcaptain]

This is why I didn't want to tell you, Okita-san... but it's a burden to stomach it all on my own for as long as I have.

[ goddamn history ]

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

...you're not alone in this, Nagakura-san. We're friends, we're meant to share such burdens... It isn't fair for you to shoulder it all.

[ especially since.. heisuke dies in that incident. baw. ]

[2ndunitcaptain]

A part of me doesn't want... to go back, you know?

[ and in the failest way possible - stupid new recruit ]

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

...yes, I know.

It's easy to want them to just come here, where we can rebuild, maybe...live in the peace we tried to create.

[ 8( jerk... making shinpachi cry. ]

[2ndunitcaptain]

Right... but I know I have to go back. I have... I have to make sure they survive. I have to make sure Sanosuke makes it through. I sent him to clear the way out.

Heisuke... told me they were surrounded. 'It's all gone to hell' he said. Damn it, I can't lose him, too, you know?

[ damn him DX ]

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

It's funny...isn't it? We could hope for them to come here and therefore ensure their safety, but then they would feel the same as we do - boats without harbor, always looking to the shore.

We'll go back, perhaps we can change it somehow, so that it never gets to that point. You won't lose them.

[ damn him DX ]

[2ndunitcaptain]

Safe, but lost. That's about it.

Haruki says it's not safe to change things. I... can live with what's going on. I can.

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

He says that, but when have we ever listened to reason, hm? People say we're crazy for fighting for the shogunate after all.

[2ndunitcaptain]

You've got a point.

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

There must be a way to save them, Nagakura-san.

And I will find it.

[2ndunitcaptain]

Right. Right, we will.

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

So keep faith, hm? If we lose our hope, we lose everything.

[2ndunitcaptain]

Right. And then it was all for nothing.

[ahappylie.livejournal.com]

And all we did, it's not for nothing.

[2ndunitcaptain]

Of course!