ahappylie | 058 [voice]

[Souji is at home and it's too quiet. He ends up talking to Saizou, his pig, for company a lot lately and this time, Saizou steps on the journal as he's talking, picking up bits and pieces of their one-sided conversation.]

--nder...why...--that some ......--ile others go, Saizou?

[The pig grunts and Souji laughs softly, sounding tired and worn.]

Mm...yes, I suppose we'll never know.....--haps....world returns.....--work still left to complete; and leaves ...... --no longer necessary.

[He's quiet for a moment and then lets out a heavy sigh, dismissing his own thoughts.]

No, that's silly. ....--ing me the jour--....

[The microphone picks up the muffled bumps and thumps as Saizou bites the journal and brings it over for Souji. He presses the on button again, unaware that it was already recording. When he addresses everyone, he's much chipper like he always, no trace of his earlier stress.]

I learned a new game so I have a question for everyone~

Would you rather eat nothing but your favorite food forever or never eat your favorite food again?

Also, it has been quite awhile, but anyone who knew my other self, Hijikata-san or Chizuru-chan; they've all returned to their homes.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

They can't be caught by me back home. They're dead there, Okita.

Only ten, and twenty years old, and both of them paid for sins of the world that should never have been theirs to bear the burden of.

I don't know how to find my justice in that.

...

[Ten and twenty.

Ten and twenty.

He isn't even sure how to respond to that, especially knowing how he's sent men near twenty to their deaths before coming here countless numbers of times. It doesn't make it any less tragic, any less horrible, but the way Smoker reveals their fate makes it seem as if their death wasn't honourable or even desirous.

He falls quiet for a long moment.]

...I'm sorry to hear that.

Sometimes there is no justice in death. Simply the act and the following regret.

I refuse to have regrets. They didn't hold any, so I certainly can't either.

And yet their returns leave you feeling something. Unfulfilled? Dissatisfied?

Yeah. That seems kind of stupid though. They were enemies, pirates, it shouldn't matter how they were killed so long as they can't cause more problems. But there's no justice in that. None in the fact that they were actually enjoying this place, and none in that that is no more.

[And he misses them, but he's not allowed to miss pirates so he refuses to even acknowledge that.]

You speak of them more as friends than enemies, Smoker-san.

[Even if he knows that will anger the man more likely than not, he can't help but say it. It isn't right that those who left went back to die. Ayumu was the same way. ...In the end, all of them were.]

I'm sorry. That you have lost them.

Don't be. It should be this way. Probably.

They weren't friends, but I'll admit, they were not as much enemies as they should have been. And since that would probably have gotten me killed for treason, maybe I should be glad that there's no reason to keep thinking about it.

Well, as long as no one from home finds out, yes? You can hold silent vigil for them without worrying about all that.

I'm not sure I want to. I mean I really should be glad they're done with.

Maybe.

[Souji shrugs, knowing that this can be a complicated thing.]

I won't tell anyone. I promise.

I appreciate that. [Sorry Okita, he's a bit lost in his thoughts again.]

I wish you luck, Smoker-san.

[In a lot of things; especially in this.]

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