ahappylie | Appointments & Messages

[Cliff laughed. There was a distinct difference between ending fights and impulsively taking on any challenger either out of spitfire rage or simple glee in the act of throwing his fists. Mothers were alllowed to worry, and he had a hunch that his mother sighed in relief the day Mirage flipped him for the first time-- and then has done so repeatedly for the better part of the last twenty years.

He suspected that, with all of the trials and fears and probable slaughters in similar fits of impulsive rage, Souji never had a similar experience. A glance downward and he saw that smile again.

Maybe he was starting to understand the man more than Souji realized.]

Nah. I've known that he's a tease since day one. It's no biggie, but he just seems a little more adamant about it than usual.

Maybe he misses his parents as well - his real ones, I mean. We're nothing but a proxy, but for a young man his age, it would be understandable to think of family and miss them after having led a facsimile of that life...

[Souji narrowed his eyes suddenly, his attention drawn to the field. A new person had entered and he was drilling by himself - one of the men who had a distaste for Luceti. He didn't like participating in the drills Souji set up, and he'd been spotted talking to the other recruits, likely spreading distrust among the ranks. He was someone to reckon with later and Souji needed to know who he talked to the most.

When the man remained solitary, he relaxed slightly, but refused to take his eyes off him.]

He hasn't said anything to me, so maybe it's that he saw what a good father you made and is worried you're missing the opportunity for children. And not fake children like you're doing with gathering all the young ones up for training, either.

[His gaze slid to the field when he saw Souji's subtle shift, noting the man he had spotted earlier in the day. By the looks of things, he wasn't a threat for the moment. That was enough for Cliff to lay the matter to rest while he listened to Souji.]

I dunno what you're talking about there. [Regarding the desire for a family, for kids. Maybe on some level...but, that wasn't feasible. It would never be feasible. It might be a possibility for Fayt in the future, once the world stabilized and he was able to see his mother again without need to worry, but Cliff had a hunch that the day would be far away.] These kids just need a push in the right direction is all. Some need a bigger boost, but so what? I'm just being an old guy whose making sure some people don't die.

That's a skill a lot of these fight happy guys back in town forget.

If you say so, but are you sure you're just an old guy making sure, hm? [A smile quirked at his lips and then disappeared when he noticed someone approach the newcomer. That was one of the men Souji had spoken to that day about the Brigade's mission. He'd seemed receptive, but it could have been a ruse. He narrowed his eyes again, straining through the twilight to read lips.

When it seemed that the other man was only inviting him in for a spar, Souji's attention flitted to another group. He couldn't help but be on alert at all times, even if he and Cliff were supposedly relaxing after a day's work. Work never ended for him.]

...Most of the people in town don't know what it's like to die.

[He unscrewed the cap of the tea thermos and took a sip, eyes closing as he remembered just a year or two ago in May. The slow, agonizing pain and the heaviness in everything he did, the crimson that still haunted his dreams. He looked back over the field, swallowing and noting that the newcomer did not join the sparring group.]

They rely upon the fact that this world will bring them back.

...

[Of course Souji would know that pain. He'd know the difficulties, the hardships, and things that most people couldn't begin to imagine. A sigh, wearily. Cliff only knew of it from watching his people, and not even the strange quirks of this world could take away that instinct to survive.]

That's sloppy. Foolish. [He ran a hand through his hair.] We can't rely on anything here, so who's to say we can rely on that?

...besides. Even coming back isn't entirely clean.

Because it gives them hope.

[He lowered the thermos and motioned to the men on the field.]

It diminishes their fear. They know they might fall on the field, but they have reassurance, in some small part, that their death will not be in vain. They can come back, try again, keep pushing forward.

[Even if it wasn't entirely clean - even if the act of dying itself wasn't clean and the aftermath only that much worse, it meant a second chance.]

And at least we come back. Or some of us will.

[He'd heard what had happened on the last mission. Even if it was their enemy, there was something terribly cruel about the decision. It garnered Luceti favour, but at the cost of sending hundreds of people into an endless, dark dream for hundreds of years. Eventually they would wake, they would find their world changed. Being pulled from time could be the worst torture inflicted upon a person, and Souji found the entire affair distasteful.]

[Cliff's gaze darkened as he watched the recruits spar once more, noting their moves and just how easy they could have been taken down by a lazy college kid who liked his battle sims a little too much. They would need much more training if they were to survive, but there would still always be that weakness.

Souji called it reassurance. Cliff called it carelessness. Had he grown up in an environment like this, Cliff knew that he would be far wilder than he was, because death ultimately met nothing.

Even the people who were lost for centuries would, eventually, come back.

He huffed, his thoughts straying off on a tangent that he wasn't going to detail. Not so openly. Not to Souji.]

...You've got a point, but that also just leaves an opening for people to make mistakes because they don't have that fear. [Like he said earlier-- keeping a shred of fear keeps a person sharp. The moment that fear vanishes is when something bad happens.]

Besides. Someone needs to teach these kids who don't know a lick about fighting a little bit about just surviving. Back in town, I mean. Not everyone's cut out for this kinda life.

It's our job to put that fear into them. Instinct should take over after that.

[Souji slid his gaze over to Cliff after he let out his breath - something else was bothering him, something he didn't want to tell Souji yet.]

It's not just them you're worried about, is it.

...

[Cliff hovered over his drink and offered Souji a silent stare in lieu of an answer. The one true commonality between them, once the jests and the contexts were removed, was that there were things that neither would readily mention unless there was a reason.

Right now, there was no reason.]

It's just some stuff from back home that I hope doesn't become a problem for us here. I don't think it will, but it's like we talked about. Staying on alert.

[He took a sip. He tossed his head toward the recruits.]

We'll find something that works on these kids. It just might take a little doing is all.

[Cliff's look said it all - he had a secret and Souji would not be privy to it. He resolved himself not to pry and turned his gaze away, rather than see the wall between them, he chose to look out into the open. The recruits were why they were here. This wasn't a social hour, even if they were having a moment to himself. Inwardly, Souji was kicking himself for revealing so much about his past so soon to someone who wasn't trusting him with everything. It was a stupid move, made out of loneliness and the vestiges of a now worn out experiment.

He shut that door as tightly as he could, pressing his back against the metaphorical wood. It was stupid. He wouldn't do it again.

Souji straightened and nodded.]

Tomorrow I'll continue drilling them, take the break periods to spread Haruhi-san's ideas to the more receptive among them. Come see me after to let me know how many you've been able to bring around to the Brigade's side. I have extra badges and fliers they can take back with them to their enclosures.

[He finished the rest of his tea and then screwed the cap back on, and held the thermos out to Cliff.]

I should go. I promised to meet one of the men from Wyoming to discuss the badges.

Roger.

[His tone was level, amost business-like. In his reverie he had slipped a little back into the mindset of being something similar to a captain himself. While he wasn't military, Quark had developed a heirarchy of it's own over the years.

The negotiator also slipped through, instinctively. Even months of being out of practice couldn't change a man.

Cliff carefully took the thermos back, watching Souji's eyes the entire time. He too pressed his back against the metaphorical door-- it was all stupid, but Souji at least deserved a scrap of information.]

Listen. It's not you. It's just something from back home that you and I can't even hope to help affect. A friend of mine [The one you've met. Your imagined son,] is potentially as much a game-changer as that bomb. I trust you...but it's not something we can worry about right now.

We're taking steps to work on it, but I'm at a wall. Trust me when I say that you can't pass it either.

It's bigger than either of us can really imagine.

Edited 2013-11-01 12:51 (UTC)

[With the thermos taken from his hand, Souji bowed his head slightly as he readied to leave. It was only Cliff's words that stopped him, giving him pause as he tilted his head back to listen.]

It's alright, Cliff-san. You don't need to explain.

We all have secrets we wish to keep, ones we cannot give away to anyone.

[He turned his head back, lowering his eyes. Trusted, but not trusted enough. After being privy to the inner circle of the Shinsengumi for so long, it felt strange to be on the outside looking in.]

This is something for you and your friends. The more who know, the more dangerous it becomes.

[He bowed his head head and headed off down toward the field.]

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