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o44 [Action | Video]
[It's such a nice day out that Okita has decided to take the House 50 pets for a walk. Around mid-morning after he finishes his training, Okita can be found wandering around the village with the yellow chocobo Tammy in tow. And on her back? A disgruntled Saizou, wishing he could be down from the heathen bird. Tammy doesn't seem to care since Okita keeps plying her with treats to ensure she follows.
As he walks, he'll open the journal and turn on the video, showing him and the bird in the background.]
It's such a nice day out~
I wonder if everyone's in school or if they're on break~?
Are all the New Feathers settled in? If anyone would like a tour around town today, I'll be out with Saizou and Tammy~ Dog, unfortunately, can't take walks. Poor thing. But! That's okay~ He's happy at home. Come say hello! I really want to meet all of you.
As he walks, he'll open the journal and turn on the video, showing him and the bird in the background.]
It's such a nice day out~
I wonder if everyone's in school or if they're on break~?
Are all the New Feathers settled in? If anyone would like a tour around town today, I'll be out with Saizou and Tammy~ Dog, unfortunately, can't take walks. Poor thing. But! That's okay~ He's happy at home. Come say hello! I really want to meet all of you.
[Voice]
Her name is Tammy. I don't know what she is really.
[Voice]
Would you... h-happen to know somebody who might know her species, then?
... Would she perhaps know?
[There is a wavery, watery quality about Robert's voice right now that might suggest to Okita that he has been having a hard time, and that this exchange is something that serves mostly to cover other stuff.
... Or if he fails as hard at emotion as Robert does he might not notice anything, but hey.]
[Voice]
[Nope, Okita notices. He knows it very well and so he debates for a moment about saying anything. Instead, he'll let Robert have this moment.]
She might know. Let's ask.
Tammy?
[The bird warks.]
What are you?
Tammy!
No, what are you?
Tammy!
[Souji smiles apologetically at the journal.]
This might take some time.
[Voice]
Thinking about it distracts from the pain of the loss of Vivi, and so he allows himself to focus on the strange tall yellow bird, and this slender little person that he has never met before. (At least the person seems gentle and nice. These are positive qualities - albeit they remind him some way of Vivi, but everything does right now.)]
[Voice]
Tammy!
[Okita laughs and pats the bird on the head, continuing their walk.]
I don't believe we've met before - although I've seen you around on the network. May I ask your name?
[Voice]
[Robert introduces himself - the same way he always does, or at least the way he's done it since being in Luceti.] My name is Professor Robert Alexander Hastings.
... And yourself, if I may ask...?
[Speaking to a stranger: hard at the best of times, harder now. Five months in Luceti have made this less challenging, but being in pain has not helped.]
[Voice]
[Voice]
... But if your name is like my friend's, then yes, I suppose it would be Souji Okita; h-however, I will address you whichever way you personally prefer.
[That's a point of Terran ethics: using the name and/or title and/or pronouns a person is most comfortable with using.]
I have been here about... f-five months, now... but there are still many people I have not s-spoken to...
[Voice]
Five months! That's quite a long time.
[And while he knows not to ask the next question, his curiosity is getting the best of him.]
...Are you alright?
[Voice]
I...
... [Softly:] M-My... foster d-daughter here in Luceti, Miss V-Vivi Aislinn, was... r-recently sent home.
...
I-I... I miss her. V-Very much.
[It isn't just missing her, though. It's the realization that she's forgotten everything, and the fear of getting close to somebody and then having that ripped away, and the terror of it happening to any of his close friends or himself...]
[Voice]
[There is little else that can be said. A person going home means many things, sometimes good and sometimes bad. The way Robert is acting, it's bad.]
...I really am.
[Voice]
... Sh-she, she has a mother to g-go home to, and... a-and...
... Sh-she won't be alone, I hope.
I just...
I-Is, is it unethical to... t-to want her here?
I, I had never had a daughter before... and I... I-I, I love her...
[He hides his face in his hands and tries not to cry. He's cried enough.]
[Voice]
...It is selfish, however. But that is how people are.
[Voice]
... I... I just want her to be happy, and safe... But...
... I-It... is terrifying that people can simply just disappear and then forget and...
[He trails off, his voice choked by a sob he tries in vain to cut off.]
[Voice]
But do you think she'd want you being like this?
[Voice]
[Sadly:] N-No, I do not think she... would.
[He looks over at her letter, the letter he's practically immortalized since her loss, and rereads it. It's pretty much telling him to do the opposite of what he's been doing.
But it hurts so much to put his heart in other peoples' hands. Whenever they leave, they take another piece...]
[Voice]
Then you're doing her a disservice, don't you think? She'd much rather see your smile than your tears.
[Voice]
But he... gets the point of what Souji is trying to say.]
It... is hard, to smile.
... But...
P-Perhaps I could try for her sake... [Not convincing, really. He will try, of course, but it will be awhile before he can really gild himself against the pain.
But with help... he'll be able to weather this, eventually.]
[Voice]
Mourning her as if she were dead just seems to be unfair to her memory.
[Voice]
In a way, I... s-suppose it might be.
But this is almost... worse, because I know she is still alive and well but I cannot see her, or speak to her... and all the time we had together will be like nothing, unless she somehow manages to r-remember if she ever returns...
[Souji might be able to tell that this is something that sparks real terror for Robert... because it is a profound fear of his.]
[Voice]
But crying over it will do nothing to change what has happened. You can only move forward.
[Voice]
[Especially for somebody like Robert, who is emotionally delicate and childlike in many ways; who hasn't been close to somebody for five years, who has never really experienced loss that he didn't cause himself, who has never been in a position before where he cared about somebody so much that losing zir hurt like this.]
[Voice]
[And sorry, Robert, but Okita's life is made of people dying, people being lost and forcing himself to keep smiling despite it all. He's a bit harsh sometimes because of that.]
..........
But time is needed. You don't have to force yourself until you're ready.
[Voice]
...
But... thank you. F-For the advice.
[It's genuine, even if Robert does think it's a bit harsh...
He's glad Okita wanted to listen, anyway.]
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